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Happiness is a state of mind and feelings. (Interview with Tatyana Vlasevskaya)

9 November 2020

Tatyana Vlasevskaya has been successfully practicing psychology, the method of radical forgiveness and art therapy for 25 years, helping her clients find harmony in themselves, leave past grievances and start a new life. Tatyana is an architect by her first education. She is married and has 4 children. Tatyana has been engaged in interior design for a long time, combining this activity with painting. It was this passion that led Tatyana Vlasevskaya to psychology. It all started with art therapy, the purpose of which is to harmonize the personality through self-expression and self-knowledge through creativity and art. Art therapy methods allow you to work out all sorts of emotions well - fear, anger, aggression, etc., without limiting a person to certain limits by involving him in the sphere of art that is closer to him. Therefore, this method is often used by psychologists.


GP: You are a designer by profession and a psychologist at the same time. How did you choose these two professions?

TATYANA: Since childhood, I loved to draw and build houses for dolls.

That is why I am an architect by profession. Faced with customers, I realized how different people are, despite their similarity. Each person has his own world, and sometimes it was hard for me to understand, for example, a customer and what he wants. Especially when relatives and friends began to intervene. It was then that I realized that I needed to study psychology. Although I began to be interested in this science much earlier, as it was interesting for me to observe my thoughts and feelings. When I first fell in love, I was in a state of shock - I did not understand what was happening to me, how another person could influence my feelings. I became interested, studied, it became easier for me to manage my feelings, emotions and actions.

GP: Interior designer - why such a choice? Why not clothes? Creativity, of course, is in every profession. Does this education help you in life?

TATYANA: I am an architect by education.

I think that this is a very good education, which can be useful in any sphere of life. It develops spatial and practical thinking. With it, you can apply yourself both in the design of clothes and in the design of objects. An architect is a profession that makes a function beautiful. Initially, every thing has some function, the architect is a person who gives this thing a beautiful shape. Sometimes people chase form at the expense of functionality. My education helps me remember that any form must have a function. No matter how beautiful a thing is, it must be useful. Beauty is a subjective concept: times and fashion change, if this thing is not functional, it will not last long.


GP: Psychology is a science and at the same time a state of mind, what is this profession for you?

TATYANA: In my opinion, psychology became a science because people wanted to put it into some form.

Science is something that can be learned through research, laboratory experiments, and so on. What experiments or research can be done in psychology? In my opinion, this is very subjective. Conditions are constantly changing, it is difficult to keep track of the human psyche, because the soul is not from the realm of the material - it cannot be put on the table and examined under a microscope. You can track a person's reactions to what he eats and in what conditions he lives, and from this point of view, psychology can be called a science.


HP: We know that you are working on a radical goodbye method. Tell us more about what it is for and how it affects the minds of people?

TATYANA: The method of radical forgiveness is a practical and very effective method that allows you to quickly get rid of resentment, guilt, and shame.

Thanks to Colin Tipping, there is a technology that helps to get rid of the sad emotions that people cannot let go. A person stays in a state of anger, resentment, anger, jealousy for a long time, and this prevents him from enjoying life. Even if a person is well, he may be afraid to touch on some taboo topics, and this suggests that something like an overgrown splinter is sitting in his body, and the person simply does not want to pull it out of there. Before I was introduced to Radical Forgiveness, I also had skeletons in my closet. I was sure that I would not tell anyone about some of my experiences, there was no one to share with, and this created certain difficulties - fear, uncertainty, indecision lived in me. I thought there was something wrong with me. Since I started filling out the radical forgiveness questionnaires, my mind has learned to talk to my subconscious, and now I am completely free. I started practicing this method, primarily with myself. The radical forgiveness method relieves the worries and incomprehensible situations that I face daily. Now this method has begun to be applied in the West in large companies, because the emotional state of employees at different levels is not reflected in their professional activities in the best way. Therefore, the company has a special employee who, using the radical forgiveness method, can rid the company of the risks associated with inefficient employees, helping them to accept themselves.


GP: Self-development - what is it for you? Should children be forced to study? Or should they choose their own path?

TATYANA: It is necessary to study, but the main thing is that there is interest in this.

If there is no interest, it is difficult to learn something. Forcing children to learn, in my opinion, is useless. Although sometimes, of course, it is necessary. As they say, appetite comes with eating, interest arises while studying. This also happens. Every child has a soul, and she strives for something, first of all, to show some talents. Children will still choose the activity for which the soul aspires. And what the school or parents taught will not disappear anywhere and will definitely come in handy for them as an aid.

GP: Is there a formula for success for you and what is it?

TATYANA: I never thought about the formula for success. I think that success is what you managed to do. The more you do, the more successful you are. True, it happens that a person has done a lot, but is sad. From which we can conclude that success and happiness are not always synonymous. What is more important happiness or success? If success is happiness: it can be achieved quickly. If success means being able to do everything, then you need to work, work, and work again to get to the top of the mountain. By the way, about the top of the mountain, I recently almost reached it on Elbrus on a snowcat, only 200 meters left - so that everything is possible if you set a goal and want to (smiles ) .


HP: Is it possible to save the world and make people understand that it is possible to forgive and live in peace?

TATYANA: Saving the world is a very difficult task.

In my opinion, for this purpose it is important to popularize the method of radical forgiveness, and then everyone will save himself. And the world will be saved automatically.


GP: You are a happy person - you have 4 children and a wonderful husband, tell us how you met, how did your family happiness begin? 

TATYANA: We met my husband through mutual friends. My friend and colleague, with whom we worked together as architects, had a friend whose husband studied with my husband at MGIMO. The acquaintance happened at a party at a birthday party. In the Soviet Union, it was not customary to get acquainted in nightclubs. At the first meeting, I found my husband sleeping on a pile of linen in the bathroom - it turned out that he had nowhere to sleep, since there were many guests at the birthday party. He found a suitable place for himself in the bathroom, where I went early in the morning to wash. Hearing sniffling from behind the curtain, I experienced a shock that has been going on for 28 years ( smiles ).

HP: Have your children followed in their parents' footsteps? Or not? Tell about them.

TATYANA: Even if children do not choose the professions of their parents, they still repeat parental hobbies and reflect their inner world.

I have four children and I find myself in every child. For example, the eldest daughter is fond of animals, design, studied at the British Academy of Design, and psychology. He breeds dogs and takes care of his pets the way I take care of my children. Now she is designing her own townhouse. Anya, the youngest daughter, studied at MGIMO, like our dad: she also likes design, she dreams of becoming an actress. The eldest son graduated from high school, was fond of motocross, loves technology and electrics, a very versatile boy. The youngest son Timur is in the 7th grade, goes in for karting - this is in his father's name, because his father loves cars, fast driving, but he is very careful and always chooses the best tactics.

HP: We know that one of your daughters lives in the US and is pursuing a modeling career there. Was it not scary to let her go free swimming?

TATYANA: My youngest daughter really lives in the USA.

Of course, I didn’t want to let her go, but I subconsciously felt that she likes to open new horizons, she has been a breakthrough since childhood. At the age of 3, she said that she wanted to go to kindergarten. At 6 years old, he wants to go to school. At school I said: stop studying, I want to go to college. While working as an editor at Vogue, she realized that she wanted to become an actress.


GP: Women's happiness - what is it for you?

TATYANA: Women's happiness is, apparently, everything that we mean by the qualities of a woman.

If they are realized, then the woman is happy. In my opinion, women's happiness is not much different from universal happiness. Happiness is a state of mind and feelings. We can change our state. As the saying goes, live happily and don't compare yourself to others. Every woman finds happiness in something different. It may be generally accepted that women's happiness is family and children, but I believe that a woman is nature: where she feels good, there she finds her happiness.

HP: You spend a lot of time with your family. Are your hobbies family or hobbies? How do you spend time together? What you are doing? Or does everyone have their own concept of rest?

TATYANA: Our common passion is traveling.

We like to laugh, gather at the table, take a walk. Everyone's hobby brings positive and diversity to the common family piggy bank. I love to draw, so we have pictures hanging everywhere. Paul's eldest daughter loves dogs, so puppies sometimes run around the house - it's funny. Tyoma, the eldest son, plays the guitar - it's great, music in the house. Tima sends emoticons to the general family chat. Anya from America sends news. Together, it turns out this minestrone soup of everyone's hobbies, which creates a fun and relaxed atmosphere. As for rest, by it I mean that which fills with energy. Sometimes a walk in the forest or a trip to the sea fills you with energy. It happens that for relaxation it is enough to lie on the couch with a book. Drawing is also a form of relaxation for me.


HP: What would you like to wish our readers?

TATYANA: Learn to let go of your grievances, try to notice a beautiful day outside the window, love your loved ones and appreciate the little things, as a rule, they create a feeling of happiness. Do not rush to offend, it is better to think about why this or that situation occurs in your life.


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